“Be the change you wish to see in the world” Mohandas K Ghandi
There comes a moment in all of our lives when we make a choice about who we will be and what we will do. Often there may be many small moments leading up to one big one, or simply a significant occurrence, which changes the entire landscape of our life, and we are changed. Completely.
For me that moment came when after almost fifteen years of a very successful career in international HR, I had an epiphany, one which made me look at who I’d become and what I was doing. I came to realise that the ‘model of success’, which I had been chasing, so I would FEEL successful and fulfilled had not occurred. Yet here I was, at the pinnacle of my career, doing what I thought I loved and I wasn’t happy, let alone, fulfilled.
On a personal level, although I was living many of the trappings of success, I felt empty and no matter how much I tried to tap into what was creating this disconnection, I struggled to find meaning and purpose. I was starting to ask the question we all dread. ‘Is this all there is?’
Fast forward to now and I’m much happier, satisfied, joyful and fulfilled. And no, I’m not going to say that everything in my life is hunky dory and reel off all the ‘success’ I’ve had, although I’ve been blessed with much. In truth for me, many of the ‘measures of success’ I’d fallen into the trap of thinking would make me happy are not entirely where I’d like them to be, and that is A-Okay. Why?
Because in my moment to moment life, I feel as if I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, irrespective of ‘what’ is in my life, and it feels blessed. How did this happen and what on earth does it have to do with asking for what you want in your career?
I don’t know about you, but when I look out in the world, I see a lot of change, uncertainty and fear for many people. Circumstances, which can take away our peace of mind within an instant. Challenges that can leave us reeling in shock and terror, wondering what’s going on. The road ahead appears to be getting tougher and for us as women, it seems there’s so many ladders to climb, ways in which we must prove our worth and value, and no matter what we do, the goal posts keep changing.
I was feeling this way and at some level I knew this wasn’t my truth. So I set out, even after years of personal development, to find what it was I imagined was missing. What I came to realise and will share with you may not surprise you; but maybe, just maybe, it might make you pause, stop and reflect deeply for a moment.
What I came to realise is the model of success the pseudo-masculine world holds out for us, only works for the tiniest minority of people in this world, and the rest of us are exhausting ourselves trying to achieve it. It is a model, which if you are a powerful, feminine woman, will never allow you to feel successful, satisfied and fulfilled. Deep in your body, mind, heart and soul; and it is this deep bone-marrow sense of ourselves we long and yearn to FEEL.
My truth when I uncovered it was simple. What I was looking for does not exist outside of me. I will never feel the utter completion and magnificence of myself only by what I do. It is by knowing who I truly am, living and loving her completely in her incompleteness, finding the answers within myself, that I fill the hole I have felt within, all my life.
I’d spent so long trying to be successful by what I did – by living entirely through my mind and converting it into the work I did in my career – I’d forgotten what it was like to feel engrossed in it fully, simply for the joy of it. I was doing for the sake of doing, chasing external measures, which although felt good in the moment, made me feel like a hamster on a wheel. Constantly chasing the next piece of cheese, getting it and then starting all over again!
Through working with a new and revolutionary methodology, I finally found a way where I could feel happy in most moments of my life, no matter what I was doing or what was happening. I decided I could determine who I was and who I chose to be and most importantly, I reduced (haven’t stopped it entirely!) imagining or believing I needed to prove my worth or value ever again. No longer do I try and seek validation outside of me. I’ve come to realise time and time again; It’s all within.
This is the one thing my hundreds of conversations with women (& men) has come to show me. How very often we, at our core doubt ourselves, our very beingness and it is this, which for women permeates to the heart of us, and stops us achieving and feeling the kind of success we choose.
It’s why I quit the corporate world, began High Value Woman so I could share this message, and went back to the corporate world, because I really love it (mad I know!). Now in the work I do, I know I make a difference and my purpose in being who I am is the real reason why I be and do what I now live.
When we come to feel and know our deep, inherent worthiness and value in everything we are and have lived – the good, the bad and the ugly – and we own this deep within ourselves and LOVE it unconditionally because this is the truth of us, we no longer need (we may choose it) anything outside of us to tell us we add value or make a difference. We know it within.
This is the passage of the true ‘High Value Woman’. To help her come to the realisation through her own personal and professional journey, to know intimately she is the true wealth that she seeks. It’s through this we can ASK for what we want throughout our careers – be it money, promotions, opportunity, additional benefits – and know we’re worthy in receiving it, so when it does come our way, we open our heart and arms and say thank you. It’s through this we open ourselves up to the universe to attract and receive even more.
This is the journey, I and my clients have lived and are continuing to live. Sometimes, I have to pinch myself to remind myself how blessed I am. I have work that truly juices and fulfills me. I am surrounded by opportunity and it keeps knocking on my door offering me more and more. I am overwhelmed with the people that show up in my life who make me laugh and cry, and help me to grow and be even more of myself than I have ever imagined.
In every moment of my life, I feel, (in the words of my favourite author – Neale Donald Walsch) that life keeps giving me more and more delicious opportunities to experience myself in the greatest vision of the grandest version ever I have held about who I am, and it is not in just the ‘big’ moments and things of my life – it’s in all of it. And finally, I have fallen in love with life and with me.
So when you find yourself on this page, reading my words and something stirs within you, take a moment. Peruse the website, see if something pulls you in. Take some time. Read, watch, and reflect. And decide if you’re ready to become the ‘High Value Woman’ you know you are. For yourself.
I, and many other women like you are here to be your soul companions on this journey. I hope you’ll join us.
“What’s for you will not pass you by, if you’re ready to receive it. How ready are you?”
Some of the things I LOVE about my life……..
Being an aunt…..
My way of being…..
Travel & Adventures…….
Food & Drink……(Yum)